Green Eggs & Sand - Part I

New Jersey frequently gets a bad rap.

            When I was growing up in southern California my friends and I thought New Jersey was simply one enormous metropolitan area – an overpopulated area buried under asphalt, teeming with crime (myriad mob figures with carnations in their lapels and scowls on their faces), covered with acres of smog-spewing cars, and littered with vast tenements as far as the eye could see.  New Jersey was old, tired, and broken-down – sorta like the relative nobody wanted to visit.  We believed New Jersey was New York’s blighted back yard - heaps of filth, mounds of decay, endless urban blight, and decrepit factories spewing mushroom-shaped clouds of gritty pollution.  We were equally certain New Jersey was a plethora of corrupt cops, a cacophony of dishonest politicians, and a glut of insolent citizens who’d just as soon give you the finger as help you across the street.

            Like I said, New Jersey got a bad rap (keep in mind that we were “California surfer dudes” - spending a lot of time out in those mind-altering ultraviolet rays).

            But now that I live next door to the Garden State (in Pennsylvania), I’ve definitely changed my tune.  The (erroneous) perceptions I had of New Jersey as a kid have been significantly changed now that I see it with a completely new set of (considerably clearer) lenses.«  Indeed!  According to the New Jersey Division of Travel and Tourism the state has 130 miles of sun-drenched beaches, a rich and rewarding arts scene, a vast array of cultural venues, dozens of family-friendly amusement parks, an overwhelming abundance of historical sites and museums, a ton of outdoor interests – everything from picturesque lighthouses to championship golf courses, more shopping malls and outlet centers than you could ever want to count, and a wealth of historic resources in every corner of the state.  Suffice it to say (at least suffice it for the New Jersey Division of Travel and Tourism to say), “New Jersey is brimming with possibilities.”

            New Jersey is also brimming with horseshoe crabs… – which is why I was headed there on a chilly, gray Friday afternoon in May.  I had registered for a session of the Green Eggs & Sand workshop at the Wetlands Institute in Stone Harbor, NJ – near the southern tip of the state and close to the tourist enclaves of Cape May and Wildwood.  Green Eggs & Sand (also known as GE&S) is an intense 3-day series of workshops, lectures, presentations, and hands-on activities designed to help educators integrate horseshoe crabs into their science programs – specifically at the middle school and high school levels.  Green Eggs & Sand also comprises a set of curriculum modules that explores the Atlantic Coast horseshoe crab/shorebird phenomenon and management controversy.   

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« In order to maintain a modicum of journalistic integrity, it should be mentioned that my wife Phyllis was born and raised in New Jersey.  Thus, there are many things to love about the indigenous population of the Garden State.

… It would be fair to mention that New Jersey is also brimming with a superabundance of legislation.  Consider the following regulations, rules, statutes, and laws which the good citizens of New Jersey have previously endured, or must currently obey:

§  In New Jersey, it is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder.

§  It is against the law in New Jersey for a man to knit during the fishing season (Fine.  Now, what am I supposed to do when trout season rolls around?).

§  In New Jersey, it’s illegal to slurp soup (Apparently, licking the whipped cream off your peach cobbler is O.K.).

§  New Jersey has a law forbidding people to "frown" at a police officer (No, really!).

§  There is no horse racing allowed on the New Jersey Turnpike.

§  In Trenton, New Jersey you may not throw a bad pickle in the street.  And, pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays (I’m not sure, but seems as though New Jersey is a little “pickle-phobic.”).

§  Unless you have a doctor's note, it's illegal to buy ice cream after 6:00 PM in Newark, New Jersey.

NEXT POST - Green Eggs & Sand - Part II